Saturday, April 28, 2007

Talk to the glove

With so many cameras covering professional sporting events, athletes and coaches have taken to covering their mouths while speaking to each other. This is most commonly seen during mound visits in baseball games. The pitcher covers his mouth with his glove. The manager covers his mouth with his hand. And of course the catcher has a mask on.

Pitchers have diversified their use of the glove shield. They love to cover their face when walking to the dugout at the end of the inning so they can drop an F-bomb or two without getting picked up by the camera. (I would love to hear a pitcher miked up when they do the glove shield routine. This could be shown on my new cable sports channel, where the announcers freely curse. You can't tell me that John McEnroe wouldn't sign up immediately for a gig like that. I'm getting off on a tangent here. This topic might deserve its own blog entry. Stay tuned for a future post on Fox Sports Uncensored).

In the meantime, I encourage everybody to pick up a baseball glove at your local sporting goods store. Bring it to your next meeting with your boss.

Boss: These reports you handed in, it's almost as if you have no business training at all. I don't know what this is supposed to be.

You: (covering face with baseball glove). You *&^* *^@*&*&. Why don't you go ^&%$ &^%$$^.
(remove glove). Let me give it another try. I know I can do a better job.

1 comment:

DQ said...

So do you think you could use this same approach when you are playing...the ultimate wingman?

What if you are the wingman and your buddy is hitting on a young lady with a couple friends that are super clingy. In addition, they are dangerously unattractive. So much so that, in the wingman's best judgement, he can't go through with his wingman responsibilities. Would this be an appropriate use of the "Talk to the Glove"?

I know that, by definition, the ultimate wingman is there to support his buddy above all else. However, there are instances (you all know what I am talking about) that call for drastic measures.

Maybe we could have a little insight into the responsibilities of the ultimate wingman in a future blog.