Just when you think you've seen it all, humanity shocks us again. This one might have broken the unintentional comedy scale.
Gawker says it's the most Onion-like newspaper article in history. Pax Arcana says it is simply the greatest newspaper story ever written in the history of mankind and the whole wide universe.
According to an article in the Sioux City Journal, Olive Garden is coming to Sioux City! You would think this story could be amply finished with a simple... "on Monday." But....oh....you would be SO wrong!
My favorite quote from the article (and believe me, it was hard to choose):
"To recognize Hagarty's role as head of the Olive Garden family in Sioux City and to emphasize the importance the company places on its general managers, Olive Garden honored Hagarty by setting his name in stone. Travertine marble imported from Tuscany was chiseled with Hagarty's name and placed prominently by the front door."
Pax Arcana breaks it down better than a Bill Simmons running diary:
Olive Garden arrives in Sioux City and holy hell is the local paper excited about it