Dive of Death not that Deadly

David Blaine

By Kodiak in Cambridge

Mystifying magic man David Blaine disappointed the crowd in Central Park and the live television audience last night with a pathetic "trick." For those of you lucky enough to have not watched the two hour special, I'll recap what happened. First he hung upside down for sixty hours in New York City. Doctors said he could go blind or have permanent organ damage due to disruptions in his circulation. Well, he did it and he did not go blind, but he also got down every fifty minutes to walk around, hydrate and relieve himself. Wow. It's still impressive in a way, but come on. It's not a true stunt unless you end up without your vision and covered in piss.

Footage of his hanging was spliced with him doing card tricks and illusions involving bottle caps that he performed for folks on the streets of Harlem and Coney Island. Most were pretty cool and people rightly freaked out. All of this led up to his "Dive of Death." There was a countdown throughout the broadcast, and the announcer toted it as his most dangerous stunt ever attempted. Hmmm, OK. At the moment of truth, he leaped from a forty foot scaffold and was caught by wires attached to a harness he was wearing which then raised him into the air as the camera panned away, the announcer proclaiming that Blaine "disappeared into the atmosphere." If disappearing into the atmosphere means being hoisted off camera then that was the best illusion I've ever seen. Thanks for wasting my time, you sir, are no Amazing Randy.